The Ugly…

With bleak news updates seemingly every few minutes at the moment, it underlines , if it was needed, how football in the grand scheme of things, is just a game. But as a welcome distraction to the news, I’d now like to cover some of the stranger, bizarre and sometimes ‘Ugly’ stories involving Spurs over the last couple of decades…

Pedro’s Phantom Goal

“January 4th, 2005” – a date that will live in infamy for Tottenham Hotspur supporters. That was the night when our Portuguese playmaker Pedro Mendes would go down in football folklore – for all the wrong reasons from Tottenham’s point of view. In the dying minutes at a weeknight clash at Old Trafford, with the score standing at 0-0, the ball dropped to Mendes’ feet. On seeing Utd keeper Roy Carroll scuttling back to his line after a little foray outside of his box, Mendes let loose, half volleying the ball goal-bound, high up into the Manchester night. Looping, it hit Carroll on the chest and bounced over the goaline, only for Carroll to scurry frantically on his hands and knees to swipe the ball away, back into play. In the years before VAR and goal-line technology, the game played on, the officials powerless to do anything. Sky Sports viewers, however, had the benefit of countless slow motion replays (not that they were needed) which showed the ball a good 3 foot (literally!) over the line! The commentators were incensed, trying to convey the injustice that was unfolding before their very eyes. The game ended 0-0, but I remember being apoplectic with rage at the whole debacle. It was “Spursy” personified. If it had been the other way around I would have bet my life on the decision being given in United’s favour. We’d been deprived of a famous win at Old Trafford – and a classic ‘what happened next moment’ was created. Mercifully, in terms of the season, it didn’t make much of a difference regarding the standings: with the extra 2 points we would have jumped above Man City and would have been level on points and goal difference with Middlesbrough for 7th place; Utd would have still finished third. As for poor Pedro, he was involved in yet another incident that would go down in English footballing folklore. Playing for Pompey against Man City a couple of seasons later, he was assaulted by a flying elbow from (former Spurs’ and Wales’!) Ben Thatcher that would leave him unconscious and needing a stay in hospital. Look it up on YouTube – it’s practically GBH and it still makes the blood run cold.

Poor Pony Kit

Now some fans will find this decision a contentious one but I’ve decided to include Spurs’ late 90’s Pony kits in the ‘ugly’ review. Now as a lad, my first experience with Spurs coincided, in my humble opinion, with the heyday of Spurs kits. They were classics for a number of reasons: Made by Umbro – Umbro was the classic 90s sports brand. Any team worth their salt had them as their kit makers. They also had the iconic Tottenham Hotspur sponsor: ‘Holsten’ – the lager that was, and still is, synonymous with the club. Thirdly, the kits came in three classic Spurs colours: white, purple and yellow. They were a thing of beauty, works of art that still cause the pulse to quicken for some Spurs fans even to this day! So, when little known Sportswear company ‘Pony’ took on the mantle in the late 90s, my heart sank. I was devastated. Now, Pony were up against it from the start: iconic ‘Holsten’ had been replaced by ‘Hewlett Packard’ as main sponsors, instantly lowering the strip’s cool factor. They just didn’t look right. Add in to the mix that we’d gone from Umbro – THE iconic football brand of the era – to Pony and the misery was just compounded. As a kid, I’d always been Spurs mad and would love my annual Spurs kit that I’d invariably receive at Christmas – and I duly had my share of Pony kits and merchandise. But walking around with ‘Pony’ emblazoned across the back of my training top whilst traipsing around secondary school just didn’t fill me with much confidence or swagger. Indeed, I saw a promo poster recently of official training gear that the club were flogging around 1996 – and some of designs should have come with a public health warning. It was a relief, a few years later, when the club reverted back to ‘Holsten’ as main sponsors – and Adidas took on the reigns in terms of kit manufacturing. In all fairness, I think the Pony kits have got better with age. On my trip up to the new stadium last year, I saw a couple of retro Pony tops and they looked… well…good. Indeed, when I suggested that the Pony kits were a little ugly on Twitter a few weeks ago, quite a couple of people defended their honour, particularly the purple striped one! But still, they were not a patch on the iconic strips that preceded them.

Lasagne-Gate

Now one of the most gut-wrenchingly bizarre episodes to happen to Tottenham in recent times was the lasagne-gate debacle of 2006. To set the scene, it was the final day of the season and at the start of play, we occupied 4th place and the all the important coveted Champions League spot. All we had to do was match Arsenal’s result and we’d be going into Champions League dreamland for the first time in the club’s history. Now in 2006, we were a world away from the team that would qualify for consecutive Champions League football frequently during the 2010s. He wasn’t a Redknapp or a Pochettino, but our manager Martin Jol had been a tonic – taking over the reins from Jacque Santini and turning Spurs in to a competitive side who regularly asked questions of the league’s bigger boys and played some lovely football. Our opponents on the last day of the season were West Ham – not our main rivals of course, but a team who class their two games against us each year as their cup finals, a team that would revel in being the Spurs party poopers, so to speak. I was on a Rugby tour in Limerick at the time – as a green 19 year old – but I was about to turn greener on that Sunday afternoon as news started to filter in that, on the previous night, around 10 of the Spurs squad had succumbed to sickness and diarrhoea at the team’s hotel. Reports suggested that the cause of the illness had been a dodgy lasagne from the hotel and, although Spurs had requested a delayed kick off (some reports suggested that the club only wanted a couple of hours delay!), we were told that we would have to fulfil the fixture or would face a points deduction. Many of our key stars and playmakers fell foul to the illness: Carrick, Tainio, Davids, Keane, Lennon and Dawson – all were afflicted, all rendered powerless. As the Sunday afternoon played out, the inevitable unfolded as a visibly weakened Spurs team struggled in a fast paced London derby, going down 2-1, whilst Arsenal romped to a 4-2 win over Wigan in their last ever fixture at Highbury. Having clung on to 4th spot for the majority of the season, it was a bitter pill to swallow. As for Jol, the following year he was unceremoniously sacked by the board, the rumours suggesting that he found out about his fate via a text from a family member at half time in a Europa League fixture – a sad and unjust end for a man that had taken Spurs to the cusp of Europe’s elite. In another cruel blow, it would be another 4 years until we would finally qualify for the Champions League…

New Rules, Same Old Heartache

A neutral football fan, whilst reading this blog, may detect a sense of morose self pity but, the fact remains, that there is categorical evidence to underline the fact that Spurs have had more hard luck stories than your average club. Two such incidents clearly demonstrating this relate to Chelsea. The first incident occurred during a League Cup semi final in 2019. Winning 1-0 from the first leg, we headed to Stamford Bridge with the hope of reaching our first final for 4 years. However, we started poorly and found ourselves down 2-0 as we went in for the half time oranges. Yet, against the run of play, we hit back early in the second half as Fernando Llorente scored on the 50th minute to level up proceedings. Now a brief glance at the history books will tell you that since the 1980/81 season, League Cup semi finals had employed the ‘away goal’ rule – whereby if the aggregate scores were level at the end of the second leg – the team that had scored the most away goals in the overall tie would progress in the competition. I reiterate, for every season since 1980/81 this had been the case…until 2019. You don’t need to be a mathematician to twig that in usual circumstances, we would have progressed to the final because of Llorente’s strike. Yet, the new away goal rule change cruelly scuppered our plans and as the game entered extra time and eventually went to penalties, it was clear that a hard luck Spursy story was unfolding before our very eyes. We had lost yet another semi final, missing out on a rare chance of silverware. However, the semi final injustice pales into insignificance when compared to what fate befell us at the end of the season in 2012. We had finished 4th in the league, but our Champions League qualification was not secured as Chelsea still needed to play their Champions League final against Bayern Munich the following week. Years ago, victory in the Champions League did not mean automatic qualification for the following season’s competition for the victors. So, if a team finished outside the top 4 in England but won Europe’s elite competition, then they would be unable to defend their title. But then Liverpool muddied the water in 2005. They won the Champion’s League but had finished 5th in the league so UEFA had to hastily rearrange the rules to allow 5 English clubs into the competition the following season. However, by 2012, a UEFA decree stated that only 4 English teams could qualify in a given year. Crucially, to cut a long story short, if Chelsea beat Bayern Munich in the final then they would qualify for the following season’s competition – despite only finishing 6th in the League – at Spurs’ expense. That said, a Blues win in the final was unlikely. Bayern were the in form team in Europe that year and ‘odds on’ favourites. The final was even being played at their home ground, the Allianz Arena. Harry Redknapp even felt confident enough to quip that Chelsea wouldn’t win the Champions League in the build up to the game. But, as with so many Spurs stories over the years, Lady Luck was not on our side – and the pain was visceral. I was at a family wedding at the time and kept popping out of the party to see the unfolding drama on TV. Bayern scored early and looked to be heading for the victory, before a Chelsea equaliser right at the death shook up the proceedings. As the game wore on into extra time, and Cech saved a Frank Ribbery penalty, the narrative had an all too familiar feel about it for Spurs fans. By the time Chelsea won it on penalties, the shock had turned to bitterness. Shock. Frustration. Anger. Same emotions, different circumstances. Hell, Spurs weren’t even bloody playing and still the sporting Gods had been against us. Michel Platini had been particularly blunt in his assessment of the events. Regarding our fate and whether we had been treated unfairly, he told reporters afterwards, “No, they have not been punished. They know the rules, they should have been third and not fourth.” He had a point, too. Towards the season’s end we were 2-0 up against Arsenal in a game that could have allowed us to go 13 points clear of them if we had won. Alas, we lost. Badly. The 5-2 reversal was the catalyst for a spectacular end of season collapse which would see us cede 3rd place to the Goons, moving us to 4th and at the mercy of Chelsea’s Champions League exploits. In the aftermath of Chelsea’s victory, we were left with a sense of what might have been once again, our questions and musings drowned out by the celebrations of our neighbours from south of the river. The following season, with a lack of Champions League football on offer and an estimated loss of £35m in terms of club revenue, Luca Modric departed for Madrid, Gareth Bale following him the season after. Who knows what Spurs side may have been built if Champions League qualification had been achieved during that year.

The Curious Case of Christian Gross

Spurs had a number of managers in the 1990s – all with various strengths, flaws and foibles. For all of their defensive frailties, Ossie Ardiles’ Spurs sides could score goals. Gerry Francis had a certain honest charm, even if his Spurs side were fairly unspectacular. Later in the decade, despite his Arsenal links being held against him by some, George Graham brought League Cup silverware to the Lane during his tenure at Spurs. However, few – if any – Spurs fans look back at the time that Christian Gross spent with the club with any form of nostalgic sentiment. Revisiting the Football Focus special surrounding his appointment whilst writing this blog, in theory it was an appointment taken with considerable foresight. Alan Sugar talked about the need for a “continental approach” for premiership clubs in the future – and Arsenal had also taken this approach by appointing Arsène Wenger in 1996 that would transform their football club. But with Gross, it’s an understatement to say that the gamble didn’t pay off. The media were seemingly against him from the off, bemused by his strange accent and tweed-jacketed, supply teacher appearance. Randomly, in his first press conference, he waved his London Underground ticket in the air and boldly declared, “I want this to become my ticket to my dreams”, before his Spurs side proceeded to lose 1-0 to Crystal Palace in his first game in charge. We may have beaten Everton the following week, but then results indicated that Spurs would be in a relegation scrap – and heavy defeats against Chelsea (1-6) and Coventry (4-0) reflected the work needed. He had some very good players at his disposal but the season was a long, hard, demoralising slog. Stars such as David Ginola, Les Ferdinand, Darren Anderton and a certain Sol Campbell seemed powerless to stop the rot. Reports suggested that it was an unhappy camp; players were disgruntled with Gross’ emphasis on fitness during training sessions – the rumour mill suggesting that Ferdinand was being made to train whilst crocked – exacerbating his injury. I still remember sleepless nights and barbed comments about our impending relegation from rival fans in school. For a 10 year old Spurs fan, whose team was muddling the line between winning and losing weekend after weekend and struggling to escape the cold clutches of relegation, it was a torrid time. In the end, there was just enough quality – somehow – to keep us up and it was largely thanks to Jurgen Klinsmann coming to the rescue by scoring important goals during a loan spell from Sampdoria at the end of the season. The particular highlight were his 4 goals in a 6-2 rout at Wimbledon. But the problems persisted and the following season, opening up with two losses in the first three fixtures, Sugar had seen enough and wielded the axe, blaming the media for their agenda against Gross from the off. Even by our own standards, his time at Spurs had been a nadir for the club and clearly wouldn’t be remembered fondly by the Spurs faithful. We went on to employ former Gunner’s boss George Graham, who tempered resentment from some fans somewhat by leading us to League Cup glory during his first season in charge. As for Gross, he went back to Switzerland and proved his credentials to an extent – taking charge of Basel for a 10 year stint, winning 4 league titles along the way.

What do you think? Any other incidents spring to mind when you hear the term “Spursy”?

Andy, South Wales, March 2020